Wednesday, 14 January 2015

[Gist]: Comedian Bovi Reveals His Experience With A Portharcourt Prostitute

Comedian Bovi took his instagram page
today to tell a story of how a prostitute in
Port Harcourt helped him some years
back when he needed help.
Read Story below

I had just resumed school for second
semester 300 level. This was February
2000. My mission was to storm port-
harcourt from abraka and surprise my
older sister who had just moved to
another apartment. All I had was the
address to the new apartment. I’ve
always loved to pull surprises and this
was my biggest one at the time. I arrived
ph in the evening via public transport
and traced her new place. Me wey plan to
surprise my sister con surprise myself.
She had not moved in. Her present
address, I didn’t have.
Gsm; non-existent at the time, her office?
Closed. I was practically stranded in the
garden city. After recovering from my
rude shock, I took the first 2 foolish
decisions. I hailed a cab and told the can
to take me to a happening joint. The type
that runs all night. He told me it was
a Tuesday, the happening joints really
don’t happen on Tuesday. I insisted there
had to be one. Well he jad money to
make, so he obliged me. We got there.
Dead end. Even the band members and
the Dj were off duty. We tried a second
spot. No luck. By this time it was
past 9pm. So it dawned on me that I
should have been looking for a hotel. By
the time I checked 2 hotels, I realized that
had I not made wayward stops, I’d have
been able to pay for a room. Think Bovi,
think! I asked again where I could
possibly chill till daybreak. A commercial
nerve. Someone mentioned “opposite
hotel presidential.” When I got to hotel
presidential; opposite it that is; I was
relieved.
The groove was real. Outdoor joints,
several bar tenders. Pot bellied men with
pretty women drinking away their stress.
I found my spot, got a seat, weighed my
purse and saw that my vex money had
been severely eroded. I couldn’t even
afford a drink. But hey, I could watch.
The ladies of the night were present on
their droves( soliciting customers). It was
a sight to behold. Of they got lucky, they
hopped into vehicles of strange men. I
enjoyed all I saw until it
was midnight and the unexpected
happened. All d joints started to lock up.
On no time it was just me and the night
nurses left on the road side. Why you no
go stay hotel” “why you no go your sister
house” “why she Neva pack go her new
house?” I had answered all these
questions repeatedly.By now I was with the security of the

hotel, begging to share their space with

them till the earliest signs of daylight.

They weren’t comfortable with me there.

They had even suggested I go to

ojuelegba, a spot on the famous Aba road

that hosted a retinue of low class sex

workers (low in the sense that the better

sex workers were the ones who came

opposite the hotel) I had turned down the

idea politely. Five minutes later, a police

patrol can sailed by slowly with “victims”

of their raid of ojuelegba. I didn’t believe

my luck, assuming it was luck.

Not long after, one of the busiest girls of

the night walked into the security post. I

had seen her severally that night. She had

to be the busiest of the girls. Leave in a

car, return in okada. That happened at

least 4 times.she inquired what the

problem was. For the 66th time, I

narrated. She paused for a while. I had

no idea what she was thinking. Then

quietly she asked to see the contents of

my bag. Two shirts, one trouser, soap can

with blue long sponge and body cream.

And identity card. Finish! She thought for

a while again and then made me an

offer. She asked me to follow her to her

apartment. I wasn’t sure what to do.

Security didn’t want me there. From their

eyes I could tell this was my last offer.

She “napkined” on the bike ride to her

house.

 This was 2am. A small living room and a

room with one bed ms living room was as

small as the room. It had no furniture.

She offered me her bed and slept on the

floor. I tries to refuse but she will have

none of it. I was her guest. I don’t know if

I really slept cos my legs remained on the

floor with. Y back on d bed. By5 am I was

up.

She offered me water to shower but all I

did was brush and wash my face. Her

brother came in not long after without

caring a second who I was, he went

straight to sleep. As I made to leave, she

untied an end of her wrapper, brought

out a wad of notes and offered me 3 fifty

naira notes. She bade me farewell.Never

to be seen again till this day

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